i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
