you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
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