we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
