after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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