what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't deserve a penis
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
