do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
