awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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