Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
