I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
