You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
