He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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