Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
