Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
