Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
