bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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