I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
