My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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