I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
