Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
