your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
