nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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