He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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