Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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