Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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