i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Boobs are out for the taking
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
