If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
