I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
