he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
