Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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