fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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