And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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