Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
