ugly people sure do ruin things
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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