I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How naked do you want me to be?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
