my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
