I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
