he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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