Umm I'm too high to move.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
