Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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