LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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