you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
