I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
