His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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