i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
