He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
