I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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