I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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