look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
