Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
