I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
