Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
