I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
