I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
