Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you had me at cake vodka
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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